The fire next time.

James Baldwin is a model for me at present.

When i was young, i was a very patient person, perhaps absurdly so. I also believed deeply in the ability of our current social systems to be tweaked some in order to function well for all. That is, i had faith in Reform.

And then my world began to open up. As i learned more about more radical politics, i became combative, stubborn, and impatient. To be quite fair, i think there is a place for these: we are confronted daily by horrors and indignities that should not be and /must/ not continue. Of course some of the people who come into radical politics are angry, impatient, and looking for a fight! We want to change the world! We want to save lives, save souls, save those things that make us human, that make our lives ones worth living; and we want to propagate Life in the world, over the politics of Death and Control that dominate this present world.

But… i dunno. The hate and rage that i hold in my heart are eating me. I have always said that i would rather die than let those who run this world destroy the soft and beautiful things in me; and yet i hold on to so much Bitterness that i worry i'm destroying those things myself.

So… Baldwin was a meaningful read for that part of me seeking its kinder, more patient, more subtle self again.

What has particularly stayed in my mind since reading this book is Baldwin's description of his meeting with Elijah Muhammad: the way that Muhammad was blunt, controlling, surrounded by yes-men, spoke categorically of those he felt to be his enemies, presented himself in effect as an omnipotent prophet (an exaggeration, to be sure; but he had the confidence of those most brutal of self-assured religious zealots) and all those other small cruelties that are part of nationalist organizations, nationalist leaders. Baldwin, in contrast, thought carefully about his peers and enemies, about race; he was subtle, humble, recognized the complexity of the situation, the lack of easy answers; but /also/ the need for /fundamental, systemic change/. Which is to say: he was both. Here, he recognizes the need for a New World to be born; but he also recognizes that this is a project larger than one strongman, one personality, one person's answers. He does /not/ present himself as a prophet, yet his story rings prophetically with what the nation of Islam would become.

I wish to be humble again, even as i wish for a new world. Indeed, the latter likely cannot be achieved in any real sense without the former. A recommended read for those who dream of cooperation and a better world.